How to Manage Anger


Everyone experiences anger at some point in their lives. It is normal and part of being human. When managed appropriately, anger can even be considered to be a healthy way to respond to difficulties. Counselling Psychologist, Bernadett, looks at how to manage anger.

Anger can stem from a number of difficult contexts and from how we perceive and respond to each context. Anger often functions as a defence mechanism, protecting underlying feelings. In most instances, people are angered when they feel frustration and especially when they feel they have no control over specific situations.

Anger may be triggered by:

  • Other’s behaviour, when one feels hurt, ignored, disrespected, humiliated, embarrassed, criticised, abandoned or unjust treatment;

  • Poor health, chronic illness, pain;

  • Personal problems, deceptions, disappointments, infidelity;

  • Loss, infertility;

  • Traffic, deadlines, bad service;

  • Fear, sadness, uncertainty, failure.

Anger can be manifested verbally, non-verbally and may result in physical rage. Developing skills to manage anger should be considered, when anger affects your marriage, friendships, parent child relationships, work interactions or, when it results in loss of money.

On the other hand, some may say they don’t ever feel angry, when in reality their anger is brewing inside. These people experience great stress, resulting in:

  • Relationship problems;

  • Poor sleep or over sleeping;

  • Overeating or not eating;

  • Headaches, stomach aches, dizziness and other physical ailments;

  • Irritation;

  • Lack of pleasure;

  • Depression.

10 Ways to Manage Anger:

1. Listen and keep calm

Listen carefully to what the other person is saying, focus on your breathing and keep calm. Count to five and then address the situation in respectful manner, don’t fight back.

2. Be direct, clear and assertive

Express your frustration and anger in a direct, clear an